“Have you heard the news?” gasped George.
“Tell me,” sighed Margery.
“It's Boris bloody Johnson. He's completely crackers. Got the idea from that Trump man I suppose.”
“What idea?” asked Margery.
“Rebuilding Hadrian's Wall. We all know that if Brexit wins the Scots will demand to leave the UK and stay in the EU - then they'll be a part of Schengen, and it will be a free for all and 70 million Turks will invade. Least that's what Boris says. So he says we'll rebuild Hadrians Wall and get the Scots to pay for it. He got the idea from that Trump chap who says he'll build a wall between the USA and Mexico and get the Mexicans to pay. And it's not going to work” said George.
“Why?” Margery didn't really want to know, but thought it better to humour George.
“Well Hadrians wall didn't keep out the Barbarians, even after the damn wall was built. The Romans decided the UK was a horrid damp place where it rained all the time and had no decent wine and sodded off back to Rome, where it was at least warm and there was loads of decent wine. Anyway the Scots are too mean, and there's no way Boris will get a deal out of them without having to strike a deal on importing tartan trousers and kilts and then there's the Whisky.”
“We'll have to do a post-Brexit deal on whisky, and that's where the Scots have us over a barrel, so to speak. We can go without haggis, possibly even Harris Tweed, but we rather depend on their whisky production.”
“and I haven't even started on Offa's Dyke.“
“Dyke,” said George warming to his subject.
“To keep the Welsh out.”
“Farrage wants to rebuild Offas Dyke.”